Jokes 2007

[girlsoutloud]

John: I don't know what to buy - a cow or a bicycle.

Peter: You will look silly riding a cow.

John: I will look even sillier trying to milk a bicycle.

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Son: Daddy, have you been to Egypt?

Daddy: No. Why do you ask that?

Son: Well, where did you get mummy then?

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Tom: I found twenty cents on the sidewalk.

Jim: That;s mine. i dropped a twenty-cent coin there this morning.

Tom: But, what i found was two ten-cent coins!

Jim: That's it. i heard it break when it hit the ground.

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Lady: Is this my train?

Station Master: No, it belongs to the Railway Company.

Lady: Don't try to be funny. I mean to ask if i can take this train to Kuala Lumpur.

Station Master: No Madam, I'm afraid it's too heavy.

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Ted: I can call, "Rover! Rover!" all day and my dog won't come!

Ned: How come?

Ted: Because my dog's name is Lucky.

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The telephone buzzed and Mother called John to answer it . . .

Mother: John, who's calling?

John: The holes are too small Mother, I can't see.

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Teacher: John, did your sister help you with your homework?

John: No, Miss. She did it all.

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[girlsoutloud]

They say that President Johnson was driving through the South one day when he happened to pass a lake. He saw two white men in a speed boat with a black man water skiing behind. Thinking this was an outstanding example of integration, he stopped his car, hailed the boat over to shore, and said a few words to the occupants commending them for their contribution to the civil rights movement. After he left, one of the men said to the other, "Seemed like a nice enough feller -- just a little confused." "Well," said the other, "Reckon he just never saw nobody troll for alligators before."

[girlsoutloud]

STUPID POLICEMAN JOKES

A policeman comes to the office with one black shoe and one white shoe. His boss starts to yell at him:- You are ruining police reputation, go home and change the shoes.The policeman goes home, and comes back after a while.- Boss I have a problem, the other pair of shoes at home are black and white, too.

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A policeman sent his wife and kid to a resort for a vacation. After a week he joined them in the hotel. As soon as he came to the hotel room he wanted to make love to his wife.- No darling, we can’t do it here, our kid is watching us.- You are right, lets go to the beach.After a while, they start to make love on an empty beach. All of a sudden, a policeman walks in on them.- Put your cloths on immediately, shame on you, you can’t do that in public.- You are right - said the husband - but I had a moment of weakness. We didn’t see each other for a week. By the way, I am a policeman too and it would be very embarrassing if you fine me.- Don’t worry, you are a colleague and it is your first time. But this is the third time I caught this bitch making love on this beach in the last week and she will have to pay for it.

[girlsoutloud]

Arafat wants a postage stamp issued with his picture on it. So, he instructs his people, stressing that it should be of high International quality. The stamps are created, printed, and released. Arafat is very pleased. But within a few days of release of the stamp, he begins hearing complaints that the stamp is not sticking, and he became infuriated. He calls the people responsible and orders them to investigate the matter. They check the matter out at several post offices, and they report the problem to Arafat. The report states, "There is nothing wrong with the quality of the stamp. The problem is people are spitting on the wrong side."

 

[girlsoutloud]

 A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but always talked about having a son. They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted. The wife got pregnant and delivered a healthy baby boy. The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son. He was horrified at the ugliest child he had ever seen. He told his wife, "There's no way I can be the father of this baby. Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered! Have you been fooling around behind my back?" The wife smiled sweetly and replied, "Not this time!"

[Pupii Love]

Sam was in class when he needed the toliet.
So he asked the teacher if he could go.
The teacher asked "Please an you say the alphabet please,Sam?"
So Sam said The alphabet,
"ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOQRSTUVWXYZ NOW CAN I GO !! "
The teacher looked puzzled,"Mr Johnson,where was the P in the alphabet ?"
Sam Screamed"RUNNING DOWN MY LEG !!!"


              Thats My Fav Joke HAHAHA

[Emsangel]

what do u call nuns in a super market?




vergin megastore

[strawberry]

Teacher: did you just pick your nose.

Pupil: no i was born with it.